On Death.

Death, he came in
Sneaked in through the door
The windows we had shut firmly, the doors we had bolted,
Death made his way through.

He came in, and said it was time,
That her time was done, that she had to leave.
And we bewildered stood,
Begging for more time,
Pleading that there was still much to do,
Dreams to pursue, sights to see, futures to build

But death, he is not so kind...
He that made his way through bolted doors,
And broke the power of frantic prayers,
Shattered the spells we had sealed with blood.
Death said they had to leave.

Death swept over our hunched bodies,
We that would have given our honor, so she could stay longer,
So he could watch his precious ones grow.
He tore hearts to shreds,and sentenced souls to numbness.

Death, he is not so kind.
He steals from you, robs you of those who matter.
And then he takes you as well, breaking away pieces of you,
Your joy, your soul, the light in your eyes.
Death he came,
And took all of us with him.

bAcK In tHe DaY.....




These Days.

  Yes, those days when the standard unit of measure for political aspirations was Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi. When I had no idea that most of the wars in the world were a direct cause of greed, selfishness, and more greed. At the age when I believed in the goodness of men and the decency of women. Then I grew up and reality came crashing in. I saw men for what they really are, I learned that behind the smile of most women, there lay a dangerous fang. One that bit hard& deep, with intent to harm.
But childhood was filled with more than illusions about the nature of man. There were some real pleasures to growing up in my day.Let's go back in time and reminisce.



The Facts Of Life.

 Actually Funny Comedies. 
Seriously, the comedy at that time was hilarious. There were hardly any laugh tracks, the jokes were actually funny. People did not necessarily pick on other people's weaknesses in an attempt to be funny. Unavoidable weaknesses, that is. A bad hair do is laughter material. A family destroyed by a political scandal is not.  I remember shows like"Just shoot me," "News radio," "The facts of life,"..."Mind your language,"and the winner of them all, "FRIENDS." I do not care what any one says, "How I met your mother " is no match for "Friends". None of that cast can match Phoebe's weird nature or Chandler's satire or Ross' plain wussiness. If wussiness is a word. We grew up watching Will Smith be funny and truthfully, I can't say the same for people growing up on "Shit my dad says."
Bound to grow into crap-spewing adults.

Real TV.
No program director worth his name would have allowed things like "Amarula Family" to even get past the reception area of the station.HOW??? And risk choking viewers to their death on their own puke??How all these Spanish soaps have increasingly managed to penetrate the TV arena in the last years is proof that things are not good. Mbu...simanyi" It could be you"...People, we grew up on "The young and the restless," we watched "The bold and the beautiful" and more serious dramas. Deception, lust and lies were the real thing.
Your mother stole your boy friend and you only found out on their wedding day, where you were the maid-of-honor. You were not able to predict the ending of the series, and when time to close shop came, they did.
Nothing like unending seasons of the day to day life of Jack Bauer.Our producers knew when to quit.
These days they expose the kids to reality TV. "Kendra.....blah, blah...," "Keeping up with the Kardishians...." How about someone feel sorry for Kendra and buy her a brain? How about we stop exposing children to totally-scripted& plastic life styles and then complaining when they want the Iphone4 at 13??

If you are going to be a bad enough parent and show your kids the shallowness& deceit that fills the life of those society worships and most admires, show them the real thing.

These chicas were not simple.

"Footballers' Wives" will do.

Music.

I shall not put an adjective before the word. Simply because there is close to no decent music these days. In days gone by, music was....music. Deep, catchy and sang by people that could actually put their vocal cords to decent use. The pass these days is simply being able to speak. Say a few words and the producers will create magic. Or almost-magic. Miley Cyrus has refused to respond to all forms of magic spells. Even the hip hop fraternity had real beef to match their talent.Tupac and Biggie were the real deal. Nothing like,



Hit 'em up!!!

 
"This is why I'm m hot, this is why you're not,
I''m hot coz I'm fly, you aint coz you not...".
Seriously? I could pen badder lyrics. Music meant to be funny had lyrics to match. Case in point, "Every day people" by Arrested development.
Folk like Diddy formerly known as P.Diddy were kept away from recording studios.There is need to create a curriculum on the history& making of real music, compulsory for all wanna-be-divas& rappers. Anyone that needs auto tune to make semblance of a tune is failed.
And sent to writing school. Red Pepper is in dire need of basic-grammar armed writers.

ALZAWADI.
If there is any thing that university children of the current era have missed, it is that bar. Alzawadi...SIGH!!! Let me tell you about this bar ma props...(erm, properly).
Otherwise known as street bar to my year mates, with the main bar the size of a small carry-away-only fast food joint. Mostly because 99% of the patronage was out in the street. Yes, we dressed up in barely there skirts, tried to concoct cool hair stlyes from our otherwise bland& plain braids and did what the the majority of college students do, partied till dawn. In the road. Red pepper wouldn't have had to hack into people's face book accounts in a bid to create stories. The sights at that place would have created real scandal worthy news.
Yes, bars continue to sprout all over the place. But the difference is, we were allowed to be young at Alzawadi. We were allowed to look our age& try to act older by drinking things that would burn a car engine down, but still, the silly innocence was firmly in place. Who walked in with what man barely mattered in my 1st year. Now you go to Casablanca and 15-year old girls are attired in dresses that would make Carmen Electra blush and name-dropping boy friends' names. Men who buy them a cocktail and in return, take their innocence.
Younger boys are smoking things even Elephant Man wouldn't touch. Kids trying to be adults. The truth is, adulthood does come around. And it's not so glamorous. But by this time, these kids have been carrying around the burden of trying to seem older for so long, they don't realize there was a time when the world would have forgiven them anything.
The world is not as kind to careless real adults. You pay for your mistakes in hard currency.



Schweppes!!!

 Schweppes!!!!!
I am happily addicted to coca cola. I do not think there is any other soft drink on the surface of the earth...scratch that. I KNOW there isn't any other drink on the entire earth that even on its best, best day,( having had the brightest chemists work on it for about ten years) would match the ishness of an ice cold coke.
People puhuliz!!! Coke is the best thing ever invented by man. Right after Gin.
But, before coke, there was Schweppes. In pineapple& cream flavors. Sunday family lunches were spent trying to get a much color on your tongue from this awesome drink. Then there was crush..Heavenly...sugary drinks were exactly that, wicked!!!
Now they go and make things like mountain dew. And fanta berry( Coke, am so sorry. But your purply relative is lousy. She must be a distant cousin's aunt on the other side, right??)
Fanta strawberry is  very much trying to resemble Schweppes cream, but so far only the scent sort of gets it.  And am guilty of liking the past so much, I buy it for that reason. OK, I also sip it. Delicately though.
Replicated drinks are an acquired taste.

In a Word;
I love the fabolous(ity) that comes with growing up. I love that conversations get deeper, that you start to know what actually matters, and that you let go of pre-conceived ideas which by the way, were put into your mind by a mother trying to keep scare you away from the deadly sins and purgatory.
But I miss the things that pushed us through childhood and nudged us into adulthood. No, we didn't have FaceBook, we didn't have Android-whatevers but we had clean, mind-jogging television.
Most of all, we had adults that would have died to protect us, adults that let us be children but ensured we grew into adults who'd not hate their own mirror reflections. Am all for growing up& maturity, but could we please stop charging the children we're meant to be sheltering? Making them pay a fee that breaks their hearts& steals away their carefree& happily-naive souls?
Could we please give them a chance at a baggage-free adult hood? And while we are at it, could we tell the U.S.A to stop having double standards? Oil-loaded or not, a war-torn state deserves all the help it can get. Somalia...Sudan...Northern Uganda, where the hell were you?

Then, because we need a reason to make us forget all present-day troubles, could we bring back some real TV?




I HAD TO PUT THIS IN!! DUH!!?!



I am not stuck in the past, no. I am simply saying let us make the present a time that will bring some sort of light to the history books.
With Love,( in those days, this actually meant something, not an attempt to get something)
Moe.

All My Women; The Other Half.

The Sisters From Other Mothers.
To label these women friends is becoming increasingly difficult. We are at that point where we have been through all the drama that entails sisterhood, survived it, taken life's shocks and blows, fallen away from one another but somehow managed to find one another once the dust is settled. Let me introduce you to the girls that are my sisters, in every sense of the word.


Yasmin- the bride.

 Yasmin.
aka Maureen. My name sake, semi-enemy turned bosom friend turned sister. We have survived high school drama, University madness and pre-real-life issues. Aside being a mother to the happiest boy on this planet, she happens to be one of the few people on this planet that totally understand me but will still call my bluff. Aside telling me to my face that running from people will only ensure I keep running forever, she is responsible for the highest number of panic calls that I have received my entire adult life. I truly think you are one of the most virtuous women that walk this earth. Mwaaah.



KaRita.

 Ritah.
The prettiest Mutooro I know. Okay, next to her mother. I can honestly say that this is one of the people that gets me best. She is also one of the few people that know quite how much I love my Lord. Friends from 1993, we have carried each others burdens, shared secrets that we'd kill to keep from the world...and then spent hours telling one another we were not the worst beings alive. And now she has found happiness. And I can honestly say no one deserves it more.

Lucie.
My ruuuuvvv...my height mate, my shoe-size-mate...and one of the women that saw me through some of the toughest two years of my life. I Love you truly. Because you know things about me that I would scarcely admit to myself but you never judge me. You are horrible at keeping in touch but amazing at hugs and wiping away tears when they do come. I wish I could be as organized as you are but I know you love me either way. Now, go be the lawyer we both always wanted to be. When I summon the courage one very near day, I shall join you, and reclaim my dream.

The BFFs And The Soul Mates.
Pieces of me. The people that were separated from me when the creator made me. Then sent to me to make my life a little brighter. There's a lot of things I do not have faith in. But I believe in soul mates. Not the romantic sort. The girl-friend sort. And here they are.
Celia.
Thank you for being by me through the suckiest years of high school and looking beyond the facade that was me. Thank you for praying with me through so many nights of despair and anger, and staying my friend when it was a great risk simply to associate with me. Thank you for loving me, even and especially when you do not understand why I do the things I do. You have seen me at my weakest, you have seen me broken and you have seen me rise to the top. You know my sins better than almost anyone but you also know my greatest weaknesses.  And some how you do not judge me.  I know for sure that no one else has seen me cry as much as you have.  You understand my pride but still know how to get through to the heartest of me. I know I tell you all the time but I do love you. For being one of the purest souls I know but still loving some one like me. Diva-ish or not, I still am one of the sinners. I am blessed to know you.

Els

Els.
My dearest cherub. I love you babe. I know quite well that one sentence is enough. You understand just how deep this goes, even without words. And that is the best part. That words are not very necessary with us. Coke is, and so is meat, and so is deep music. And even deeper books. But I have a bestie to whom I do not have to say much to in way of explanations is one of the biggest pluses in my life. Thank you for letting me into your tres cool family, thank you for letting me steal novels from you when you're half way done, thank you for knowing me enough to see when am in pain. Thank you for being mad at men who do not think am super hot. You are the reason I got my writing on track once again, you're the reason I force myself to type when the writer's block pays me a visit. Thank you for bungee jumping with me, for walking with me when our faith was gone. I do not think I'd have made it this far without you. We are two lazy bums but we shall soon have our car& walking shall be no more. Then we'll take all our money and go to an Island where we'll live on coke and beautiful lyrics forever. You can come with him. Leave the kiities at home though.
I heart you immensely. Bisou. Bisou. Bisou.

Mama.
My first best friend, the kindest woman I know, the one I love the most. Also,the one who broke my heart the hardest. The one that enrages me like no other but who understands me above all else, and believes in me, even when my wild dreams do not make any sense to you. If I was wiser, I'd wish to be as kind as you are. But I'm not very wise and I have seen that kindness can be a downfall. And I fear to fall, I am scared of pain. You have nursed me through countless migraines, you have questioned my love of reading and music, and sleeping, and I have broken your heart in so many ways, mostly as a defense mechanism but no else loves me like you do. This I know for sure.
When I'm rich, I will make up for all the hurt you have had to live with, I will buy the world so you can have some sort of real joy, and I will forgive you. Even if I have to force myself to do so.
Most importantly, I will make you proud. I have God by my side. I will conquer the world, then make you queen. I promise.


The Departed.
Stella and Faith. I miss you so much. My soul mate and my friend. My sweetie and my seat mate of four years. That you are not hear today still manages to shock me. You were meant to be here. For ever.
Stella, the plan was to be crazy wild, do what we loved the most and then find love. With you by my side. Now all I have are memories from a school that taught us some of the hardest lessons life had to offer. I miss your art, I miss your beautiful voice. I miss sharing naughty secrets with you. I pray every day, that you are at peace my sweet. I shall see you soon. Real soon. And then we'll catch up on all that's been happening.
P.S- I Miss You.

Faith.
F.... to this day, I do not understand what happened. Some times I'm still in shock that you're not here. Four years of sitting together in class and now...nada, nothing. Oh, I know you are perfectly okay. I know you are happy, but still...I came across one of the notes you wrote me, accompanied by a Plus One Song..You were always on my side. Always. Silently at times, but I knew you had my back. And that got me through the hell hole that school had turned into. I wish we'd had more time to make the friendship deeper. But I had you for 4years. And that made all the difference. Thank You. But, how can you really be gone?
God bless you luv.

I will turn to music and once again, borrow a line. From "Butterfly Kisses";
"In all that I have done wrong, I must have done something right....." Because I truly have& have had the world's greatest women for friends. If I never say this again, you are God's bestest gift to me.
I Love You.

ALL My Women; The Beginning.



Me....Loving My Women..




Being a member of the female species comes with a lot of baggage. Such as heels that mangle toes but cannot be done without. And menses. And the fact that unlike men, wrinkles do not add character. They cause worry lines, which in turn lead to more wrinkles. The female aging process is a viscous cycle.
But there are some perks to being the weaker sex. And today I shall focus on the one perk am most grateful for; The ability to bond. Not with men or stray kittens or strangers' babies. No. The ability to bond with one another.
When women are not busy tearing each other down, or secretly analyzing shoe/ bag betterness, we are doing what we do best-saving one another. Being sisters, shopping partners, taking 3 am panic calls...
The world of women is such that we NEED each other. To binge on ice cream when the men we love walk out on us...or drown in wine when mother fate hands you a day that more than adequately describes disastrous.
And for all the blows life has handed me, for all the mistakes I have met and made, God has gone and blessed me with the most amazing of complex but lovable females.
And today, I am singing my women very high praises

 The Sisterhood
I am the eldest child, and thereby an elder sister to two extremely nerve-wrecking, attire-stealing, jewelery-borrowing sisters. Martha& Linda are responsible for a major part of the madness that now resides in me. But they are also a major part of the joy and blessings that I have been bestowed with. Through nights of endless laughter spent reminiscing on our chaotic childhood, through tears, pain, anger and despair, and through prayers&hours-long phone conversations, it is clear to see why these women shall forever be little pieces of me that I continue to scream at, push into line but still love more than any other. It is not just blood that unites us. It is years of shared pain, trauma,joys, blessings that appeared at the very right time, dreams lost and recaptured...and childhood albums that show how far along we've come.
I Love My Sisters.
And even in the midst of questioning God's sense in the parent choices He made for us, I pause to give thanks. For my beautiful, strong, and sanity-testing sisters.


The taller one? Yup. My younger sister. Martha.

 P.S- This isn't a  gate way to ask for jewelry, money, or, more jewelry.

The Gin And Cocktail Friend.
Tabitha.
This team does not have a whole load of members. Mostly one really, who left the country a few weeks back. But who has been with me through so many unsober nights. Tabitha's classic response to, "...I am not so good..." is usually, "Morie, you need a drink...."followed by a plan that most usually gets me to bar where we toss gin& tonic into my sorrowful self.
Tabitha was my University room mate. For one year, we watched "Friends," binged on" TV Chicken," and gave ample support to the gin industry. Two women society labeled crazy but who preferred the comfort of their room to any other place on the planet. When we were not blasting rock music from our top-floor room, we were reading Shakespeare's sonnets, plotting how we'd penetrate the diplomatic world and most of all, being friends. Sharing survival tales, reading Cosmo, and each making sure the other's world was firm and safe.
I love my room mate that turned out to be a great friend. When I am rich and famous, I promise we shall live out all our crazy dreams.
See you in Dubai.

The Bankers.
My first job was at a bank. I hated it. Not one drop of like for that job. Drained me, tested me and nearly took the life out of my dreams. Needless to say, I jumped ship. Yes, I met and made one of my greatest mistakes in that place. But not before I had met three women that to will forever remain the most beautiful treasures I took from there.
Peace;
My strength, my big sister, and one of my biggest models. To say I admire this woman would be an understatement. To say I learned and continue to learn a lot from her is partly true. I do not now anyone else that gentle or calm. Where I am screaming and blazing a trail of anger, she is calm, calm and calmer. Where I'll gladly tell you where to shove your bad attitude, she will smile and try again. And where I will walk out even on those I know I will not forget immediately, she will stay. And love on.
I wish I could be more like you, I wish I had the strength to not give up on love, I wish I saw the good in everyone like you do, and I wish I had a knack for numbers like you do. I am sorry I partly introduced you to alcohol, and I am sorry that sometimes, the bad clearly trounces the good. But I am glad we have one another.

Vanessa;
Straaaange...and stylish and Life House-loving. And wise. Yes, wise...not the book sort of stuff. Not the quote and lyrics sort of wisdom. But the learned, sometimes-the-hard-way, type. This woman is a lot like me. Stoic, sometimes annoyingly so. But I know that I like to be left alone some times so I leave her alone when I think life is making its rounds with her. Then I send a late-night text message...digging, but just on the surface. Then we riddle our way around the issue, go a bit into the heart of it...then seal off with stoic-but-real-feely promises to always be here for each other. And we always are. She is, at least.
Thank you for pushing me to the light...albeit it was closer to a shove. Thank you for not judging me at a time I was on the verge of hating myself...for understanding that I got weak, but making sure I didn't wallow too long.
Woman, you were partly the reason I was able to face the last major-ish storm in my life. Thank You.
NO HUG, PLEASE.

Isabel; 
My dearest...I will tell you today that I think you are exceptionally strong and beautiful. And because you have not sent me an-intended-to-annoy-me email in a long time, I will be totally nice to you. I do not even know how you manage to get through some of life's not-so-wanted-but can't be-escaped-issues. That you do so standing tall& proud only makes me prouder to have you as a friend. Thank you for letting me give you a bit of advise, considering am still making my way around life. For silly but deep Face Book status updates, for wine and coke cocktails, and for trusting me enough to be vulnerable with me.
Happiness is on its way. I hear it has been asking for directions to you.
That we have managed to stay friends even when we do not have a common work mail system any more, and do not see one another as much is proof that some thing good always comes out of a bad situation. The bank drained a lot of the life out of me, but God went and sent these blessings my way.
For all the times I've never said it, I truly appreciate you.


The Listeners And The Long-Distance Loves.
Flower;
It is quite possible to have a successful long-distance relationship. With years of no communication, followed by a re-union across a social network that rekindles the relationship. The couple in question however has to have the strongest foundation of love possible. Louise and me are a powerful example that such relationships do work. Friends from 1993, school mates from 1993 to 2003, numerous semi-fights between us, but the bond holds as strong as ever. It could be because I have my eye on her elder brother that doesn't seem to notice I'm all grown up now...or it could be because love can be this true. And survive time differences, and years of almost no communication. It could be because first best friends are not that easily forgotten. I know that same town or not, ours is a friendship that will stand all the major tests.



With love from Peron; Kendrah.

 Peron and Immy;
These are two of the noisiest, loudest and craziest women I have the fortune of knowing. I'm constantly wondering what they'd be like if they so much as sipped alcohol. They are mostly teetotalers but God,are they hyper! And the most social and friendly people I know. Peron listens to me rant..and rant...and laughs with me...and knows me well enough not to probe if I don't offer to tell. And she gave me my first and totally adorable God-daughter.
Immy...my love, my friend, who would tell stories all night if we didn't doze off on her and who manages to never keep time...but somehow keeps in touch even when oceans separate us.


Me, Ritah,Immy

 I am thankful that I got out of my shell long enough to get to know you.

More praises to be sang later on....

The Pillar of Cloud

LEAD, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,

Lead Thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home --

Lead Thou me on!

Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene, -- one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that Thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path; but now

Lead Thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will; remember not past years.

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still

Will lead me on,

O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone;

And with the morn those angel faces smile

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile.

At Sea, 16 June 1833

John Henry Cardinal Newm

The Prayer Of JABEZ

Jabez called on the Lord,
"Oh, that you would bless me Indeed,
 and enlarge my territory,
 that Your hand would be with me,
 and that You keep me from evil,

 that it might not cause me pain."
And God granted his request.

1 Chronicles 4:10